She was the woman you loved (1)

Felicia stared at the theatre house. It was where the ballet dancers performed. It was where the best opera soloist sang. It was also where music brought happiness for a while.

Felicia loved to dance ballet. She remembered how her mother commented her natural grace and now, her fiery passion. Felicia gripped the basket, hugging than holding it.

‘Lily.’ Dam’s familiar voice brushed against her ear.

She startled and would have dropped the basket of groceries if he did not have quicker reflexes.

‘Dam’ she said, high pitched.

They exchanged delighted smiles and he asked her what she was doing standing in the middle of the market road, staring at nothing. On second thoughts he looked at the theatre house.

‘Don’t look at that place.’ He warned. ‘It brings bad luck. Fame killed ma. It kills everyone with the misfortune to be acclaimed with fame.’ He said bitterly.

‘Come on’ Felicia disagreed, collecting her basket. ‘It can’t be that bad. I’ve always admired Mrs Stanglitton since I was a little girl. Would you have thought you loved me if we had never met?’ She questioned. ‘Of course not’ she said immediately.

She grabbed him by the elbow and stirred him away from the house that offended him so.

‘How did you find me?’ She asked.

‘Today is Wednesday. You go shopping for the shop on this day, around this time. You are hard to miss.’

They walked out of the market to the duck pond. It was their game. They’d pretend to be strangers.

‘So, why would you think I am hard to miss?’ She asked. Her forefinger tapped gingerly on her round chin. She looked engagingly at him as they walked.

‘It’s a feeling. It’s like your presence calls to me.’ He said matter of fact.

She affected the offence. ‘What’s that?’ She demanded.

‘You and I are honlepmidges. I can see your trail. I bear a positive attraction to your light, my star.’ He grinned shyly.

‘I could take this the wrong way and scream stalker.’ She bit back a giggle.

‘You wouldn’t do it.’ He said with assurance.

‘What makes you think I wouldn’t. We just met and you say you have a positive phototaxic effect on me.’ She affected a scoff.

He ducks swan, quacking quietly. Felicia plucked out a tin of crumbs, opening it. The ducks gathered from their sparse swimming to a clustered mass, waiting. One pecked her affectionately. She beamed, pouring breadcrumbs upon her open palms and spreading it.

A white swan descended. Felicia thought about the play she had seen the previous night. She hoped that her application letter was considered. She felt confident comfort in the audition.

She removed her hand from Dam’s grasp. ‘Just stop.’ She said moodily.

‘What did I do?’ He asked worriedly, running after her.

‘You didn’t do anything.’ She frowned. ‘Aren’t you tired of this place?’ She demanded.

He shook his head. ‘No, this town is our paradise. I feel content to work for the Daywood company. I have dreams here Lily.’ He smiled distantly.

‘Don’t you think I have dreams too?’ She snapped.

‘You never tell me what it is.’ He defended.

‘Because you’re blind. You don’t see beyond what you want to see. All you do is bury yourself among stupid insects, talk about things in scientific terms and you think of yourself as one.’ She said coldly.

‘I never lie Lily. There are strange things in this world — things beyond INFJ and such. How do you think it’s so easy for me to always know where you are?’ He asked desperately.

‘How would I know?’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not getting into more of these kinds of conversations with you Dam.’ She said.

‘Fine, if you don’t believe me, but Honlepmidges choose their mates for life. Every other is no more than a threat.’ He warned.

‘SILENCE’ Felicia screamed. ‘We are over.’ She glared tearfully at him. ‘I am tired of trying to understand you. I can’t bear this baggage anymore.’ She said.

‘Lily’ he called, watching her walk away. ‘You don’t understand what you’re saying.’ He mumbled.

With his back hunched Dam walked towards the woods. It was the same thing his father tried explaining to him. It was what he tried explaining to her countlessly. The honlepmidges were the keepers of this sphere. They were the protectors.

He sighed and disappeared through the path to the dazzling midge-bulb hold. His hands traced the outline of the winged feminine form. It was a gigantic green hive; jello and alive with microscopic movement invisible to the human eye; visible to the honlepmidge.

‘Mother’ Dam whispered.

His mother’s were short, part of her ate away to form the green hive. The female honlepmidge was the light of the world that this world needed.

‘It’s been so long. I have found my starlight.’ He smiled, touching her gelatinized face.

His shoulders hunched and he walked away, cloaking the midge-bulb with magic.

Felicia stood before the shop. There was so much to do. Any moment now, she would receive her letter of admission or reapplication.

This was her first audition. It worried her to no end, especially because there was no one to share her thoughts and feelings to. Mrs Maxwell had stopped supporting Felicia’s dreams when she saw how arduous it had become, compared to everything else.

Also, stars had no lives of their own. It was against Felicia’s nature, but Felicia wouldn’t listen. She was sick of this strange town and the women who had to give up dreams.

‘Felicia’ a man with a curly moustache greeted.

‘Mr Finegot.’

‘Your letter.’ He nodded in approval. ‘Keep this going kid.’ He encouraged. ‘Does she know about it?’ He nudged at Mrs Maxwell’s form, kneading dough.

Felicia shook her head. ‘I’m fifteen! She won’t let me go. I plan to run away. You told me that I looked of age.’ She said, starting up at him.

‘Yes, let’s make your dream come through. Be ready at my signal.’ He advised.

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